For over 40 years, I’ve enjoyed watching my favorite Christmas special; Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer. I love the story of Rudolf and Clarisse, feel sorry for the Misfit Toys, am scared of the The Bumble (I still close my eyes when he falls off the cliff!). All these years later, I smile when he returns to put the star on the Christmas tree.
So, why am I writing this blog? Since the 1960’s, I’ve watched this TV special and have chosen to remain silent regarding an issue that troubles me. 2012 is the year I’ve chosen to discuss it. I know it’s risky to rattle Santa’s cage at this time of the year. He’s busy, he has deadlines, he’s making a list and checking it twice. I hope that by speaking out, I don’t end up on his naughty list….but, here goes……..
The issue is about the big man himself, Santa Claus. Throughout the story, Santa is nicely trimmed down…some would say he’s lean. He appears youthful, healthy, happy, and is working long days getting everything set for his annual toy- distributing trip around the world.
As the big day approaches, his wife….”Momma”….gets out the Santa Suit and begins her annual “fatten-up Santa Claus campaign.” She is hell-bent on forcing him to “EAT, EAT” with the sole purpose of weight gain. At one point, she is seen spooning food into his mouth. Why is she feverishly working to fatten her husband? Because if he remains lean and mean…he won’t fit in the Santa Suit!
Now, here is where I have a problem. When “Momma” is done fattening up Santa, his belly is as jiggly as bowl full of jelly. He has packed on 50 pounds of weight around his middle. When he laughs, he has to hold his distended midline roll. Honestly, he looks uncomfortable and in terms of his health, forget about it. There is no question his blood pressure is up (look at those red cheeks) and I would imagine his cholesterol and blood sugar have risen through the roof. Let’s call it like it is….He’s obese.
But…he fits in that darn suit. And this makes “Momma” happy. ( I hesitate to mention that when he travels around the world on Christmas Eve, children leave him milk or eggnog, plates of cookies, candy canes, (an occasional shot of whiskey)….more carbs, more fat, more calories.
Frankly, I’m worried. One of these years, I’m afraid Santa just won’t make it. As we are all aware, gaining, losing, regaining, and re-losing weight is a very unhealthy lifestyle. And all of this wear and tear on Santa just so he can fit in a suit.
And so, Mrs. Claus….i implore you. When Santa returns to the North Pole this year, restarts his healthy eating and exercise routine, and manages to lose all the excess poundage he’s gained for his trip… take his Santa suit to a good tailor and have it altered to fit his trim, “in shape” body.
Next year, you won’t have to work at fattening him up to fit in an oversized suit. He can remain in shape, fit in his clothes, stay healthy, and look darn good, too!
And for those children who want to fuel Santa’s trip with a little snack…how about leaving him a piece of fresh fruit, a wedge of cheese, a few whole grain crackers? We need to keep this man…our Santa Claus, healthy and happy for many years to come!